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THE HERO AND THE GODDESS

In The way of the heart on July 28, 2010 at 6:45 am



THE HERO AND THE GODDESS

Soul work is myth work.

Yeats once wrote that he had a coat made for himself to wear in the storms of our time. He said that this coat was a patchwork of mythologies. By this he meant that he had unravelled the myths of time and sewed them together again in a new individual way that made sense to him and brought him insight into his own personal myth.

Myths are not only those stories about the lives of the gods and goddesses. Each one of you are living your own unique personal myth. You are here to experience a life of mythical proportions.

Myths are archetypal expressions of the soul and psyche. By understanding your personal myth you are closer to understanding yourself.

What is your personal myth? Do you know which myth you are living? Do you know which myth you would like to live? Have you discovered which myth you set yourself to live this lifetime? Are you living Persephone and Demeter? Are you playing at being Apollo or Zeus or are you enacting Hansel and Gretel.?

These great mythical tales of the Gods and Goddesses, the Heroes and the Princesses are archetypal patterns resonating in the depths of our souls. These myths speak to us through our outer dramas and fantasies, whether they are gruesome or beautiful, and I am sure you have experience that they can be both. Each one of these tales have a message to bear : you are both the Hero and The Goddess in your own fairytale. You create your own reality and you have the magic key within to change that reality. You are the scriptwriter and you can change the script!

By forces greater than yourself, sometimes called Fate, you have been put into a script that feels foreign to you. It would appear to you that you had no choice in the matter and that you can only but thank your lucky stars should you find yourself in a good script! You were born to aliens, no-one ever understood you and they always wanted to tell you how you are feeling and how you should feel or not feel and how you should act. Sound familiar?

But this is not completely true – although we do not have control over everything that happens to us, we do have the power of choice as to how to deal with the story that we landed in and how we choose to react. Each one of us is unique and perfect in our imperfection.

As human beings we are both mortal and immortal. We are all living the mythical tale of The Hero and The Goddess. Every day we are challenged by the duality of the Hero and the Goddess. We experience the extreme tension of our dual nature of being both human and divine and we are in reality walking between two worlds. We are torn between the fear of our mortal self and the courage of our immortal soul.

Deep within our souls we are aware of a greater purpose, a greater meaning to our existence and our relationships, a greater sense of acceptance, sharing, love and freedom. This is the Goddess imprisoned within ourselves, locked up behind a fortress of defences, drawbridges against invaders and thorn bushes against any form of intimacy. But how to free this beauty – where to find the magical key. This is the task of The Hero. This is his sacred quest.

The hero is masculine creative nature that creates in the physical world. He is the vehicle through which The Goddess expresses herself.

The Goddess is our all-knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful, all-loving Self – She is all Life, and represents our feminine self. She is also the one who demands that the hero set out on a journey of discovery and peril!

She is that part of us that can love unconditionally; that can accept oneself and all others and allow them to be who they are and allow them to make their own mistakes and find their own magic! It is that part of us that knows that we are bigger than our greatest fears and insecurities. It is our own Divinity or our Higher Nature or the Angel that lives within each human being.

She is also the innocent free trusting and giving child who has implicit faith in the goodness of all life. The golden magical child who does not expect to be disappointed, who does not understand the meaning of conditionality and who readily forgives.

The Goddess is the one that can grant you your deepest wish. She is the magic within us.

But there is one problem. We are saddled with a WOUNDED HERO. Deep down he knows that he is the guardian and keeper of his Spirit, of his Goddess. He, however, does not know who he is. He has not yet woken up to the fact that she is a part of himself and that her immortality therefore extends to himself. He still believes that he is only a physical being and he pays attention to the fear of his mortal self. As a human being, identifying only with his human-ness, he tries to avoid all pain. He therefore keeps her locked up within his fortress, safe from all painful experiences. What he does not realise is that by keeping her locked up, he is also preventing himself from experiencing her magic and love.

With the result that our souls have become great wastelands – derelict and abandoned. We have lost the magic and love because we are keeping it locked up within ourselves – safe from where it can be taken away from us by others!! We build great walls of macho defenses around us. We declare to the world and to ourselves : I am strong; I am bigger and more scary than you; I do not need anyone’s help. We make very sure that we keep our vulnerability locked up and out of reach of any other human being. But what we forget is that in our vulnerability lies our greatest strength. And that that vulnerability is locked up in everyone else!!! What we forget is that we keep our love locked up within ourselves. Love is not something that you can receive. Love is who you are. Love is the nature of your goddess and she can only express through you. You can only experience love when you give it!!!

So here we all are locked up in fortresses in a barren landscape! And as in the myth of the Fisher King there is a magical question to be asked that will heal the land and that question is ‘WHO AM I?’

Up till now, the hero believes himself to be what everyone has always told him. He might believe that he has his grandmothers eyes, his fathers bad temper, his mother’s martyrdom. He might be believing that he will never have a good relationship, that he is not worthy of having a great career and deep down he might still be fearing the wrath of God!

It is our sacred quest to uncover who we truly! We are not our bodies – we are not our emotions – we are not our belief systems – we are not our values. We have to discover what are my acquired beliefs and what do I really believe. Who I have been told I am and should be is not me.

I am that magical Goddess locked up within as well as the Hero who has to set her free.

So we have to leave that fortress in order to find out who we truly are. We have to start on our journey to discover our talents and our gifts. Unless we do this we will never know how strong we are and how resilient our spirit can be.

Thus the Goddess calls on her Hero to be initiated into his quest for self-knowledge and understanding. She will wait patiently for her hero to understand who he truly is and that realisation and knowledge of Self will be the key that will set her free.

Like all Heroes our hero has to leave the safety of his home, setting off into a strange and scary world.

And you know when you are being called to this inner quest. One morning you wake up and all the magic has gone – the magic has gone out of the relationship or out of life generally!! You realise that you cannot stand your small life any longer. You have this feeling within that you want be free – free from all the mental constraints and little habits that you have aquired to stay safe. You feel as though you want to break out of this prison that your mind has created! This is when your hero starts stirring!! But first of all, before he has even moved into action he has to face two demons and he will face them again and again : LETHARGY AND FEAR!!

That is why we are reluctant to leave our safe space. We wait until we are completely desperate!!! before we activate our hero. Often we wait for the pain to become unbearable and even, sometimes, for death to be knocking on our door, before we agree to the quest.

So you see, this is awesome stuff! This is truly the hero’s quest!

First of all, find the courage to find the hero within yourself – it takes great courage to start the journey of self-realization and self-understanding. Arm yourself with a good sword and a great horse, in other words, arm yourself with knowledge and information and become your own Hero.

Make your spiritual journey and your journey of healing your own sacred quest. Remind yourself often that this is indeed a sacred quest that you are embarking upon and that its rewards are your whole complete Self!!! You will need to remind yourself often!

This quest has however an internal focus as opposed to the external focus of the world.

This quest appears to ask the complete opposite of what the world has taught you : it is a giving up of the doing and the hero has to learn to be. Being is not a luxury; it is a discipline. The hero has to undertake to listen carefully to his inner voice. Being takes courage and demands sacrifice.

This sacred quest also demands from you to say ‘yes!”. “Yes to the challenge, yes to the adventure and yes to change. Saying yes might not be all that easy.

It is as though your saying ‘yes’ activates all the so-called logic and caution in your internal world. It is as though all the alarm bells go off in your mind.

The first half of the hero’s journey was to create a protective strong sense of self, the ego.

Until the day that the Hero gets called to his inner quest, he is involved in an outer quest – that of building a fortress of protection around his true self. You created your strong ego exactly for that reason – in order to protect your soul from the pain of rejection, humiliation, betrayal and abandonment.

In order to keep your soul safe you betrayed, rejected, humiliated and abandoned yourself. You created various masks to fool others and to hide your fear. You became what they wanted you to be to make sure that they do not abandon you. You sacrificed your dreams and you suppressed your feelings till they disappeared. You did all of this to make sure that your Goddess will be safe,

Your voice of reason is hardly going to allow all of this to happen. The voice of reason hides the voice of fear. The ego only has one purpose and that is to keep you safe and prevent you from experiencing pain. In the ego’s eyes it will be plain stupid to let you walk into situations that brought you deep pain previously. Your psyche has a memory like an elephant and it never forgets anything! You might not consciously be remembering a painful event, but every gruesome detail of it is etched into your subconscious and its energy field.

Now, in order to set off on your quest you have to give up your need to control; you have to give up how you ARE; you have to give up trying to manipulate and steering everything and you have to let go of the need to know everything; the need to see the future and you have to trust in magic!! At no point can this be easy or not scary! Plus you get told : step off the cliff and the net will appear. It sounds like utter madness to the voice of reason. Now is the time to throw all reason, logic and caution to the wind!

Now you have to take the leap of faith and step off that cliff.

It is in the periods of being vulnerable that we grow the most. It is in those moments of not knowing, of not having a map or a plan, that we are open to guidance and intervention from the Goddess. We have to live through the chaos and the uncertainty in order to move forward. The sacrifice being called for is the giving up of having all the answers – trusting that the insights and clarity will follow. The challenge is to live with the tension – with the not knowing.

Like the characters in the Wizard of Oz, your hero now has to find his courage, clarity as well as his heart!! This is no small instruction – therefore, at no point in your journey underestimate your challenges!! Acknowledge them for what they are and thereby acknowledge who you are.

Remember, as you start this quest for your own individuality and inner knowing, you are setting about setting yourself free!! This journey is fraught with obstacles and challenges and you will soon find yourself in the midst of a civil war within your own psyche!

You will be challenged by your many inner voices. Throughout life we have taken on feelings and values and beliefs of persons who made an impact on our lives. Not all of these voices serve you any longer. It is the first task of the Hero to identify these voices. See who do they belong to. Maybe a parent, a sixth grade teacher. Do you still think that voice and its beliefs are valid?. ‘Says who?” I ask myself often. Who told me that boys never cry and girls can cry whenever they want? Who told me that money is the root of all evil? Who told me that magic is not real? Who said I cannot sing or I should be afraid of flying?

Decide whether the values and beliefs that you are still clinging on to still serve you. Do you still want those values and beliefs in your life. There is no reason why you have to hang onto them, other than that is what you are choosing. So choose again!! And again!! And again!! You are entitled to change your mind as often as you like! It is often said that the only certainty in life is change! Allow yourself that absolute luxury of changing your mind – it is a sign of growth and maturity!.

You must understand that the Hero in you understands that it is your responsibility to create a psychologically and emotionally safe space in order for the Goddess to express herself. This has always been the intention of the Hero, but what he did not realise was that in his quest for safety he sacrificed his authenticity. Now he has to reclaim his true self. He now has to undo all that has gone before. He has to let go of the masks and the patterns he created in order to keep safe.

But more importantly, he has to prove himself to himself. In order to claim back your Goddess self you have to prove to yourself that you can be trusted with the responsibility of so much power and sensitivity. You have to prove that you will never abandon yourself again – that you will never betray your true self – that you will not allow yourself or anyone else to shame you. You have to truly become your own HERO.

You have to now find your courage and faith

You have to prove your courage by speaking your truth despite your fear of rejection or criticism. Every time you do not express your true feelings because of fear, you are betraying yourself. You are denying a part of yourself the right to exist. You are denying your individuality and uniqueness.

You have to at all times validate yourself and your own worth. I like to ask : WHOSE TEAM ARE YOU PLAYING FOR? You have to become your own greatest fan.

Be fiercely loyal to yourself

Be nurturing and supportive of yourself

You cannot ever betray yourself in order to please or impress another

Do not criticise yourself or anyone else. Remember that they are all on the same quest as you – we all carry the same fears within – we are all experiencing the same tensions and dualities. We are all here to put love back into the world – we do not need to compete with one another.

Express compassion and empathy for yourself and your quest – often!

Give up the need for the validation or acceptance from others

Probably the hardest one to do is :

Stay present with yourself :

In every moment be aware of your feelings and thoughts – irrespective of how scary or painful they are. Do not allow yourself to flee emotionally

Do not allow fear of other’s opinions and judgements chase your spirit away

This is what literally happens. When you abandon yourself, your spirit leaves. When you mentally run away from your painful feelings, you are abandoning yourself. Here you are completely alone, and by your own human mortal self. It takes great courage to stay present with your feelings. They have often been suppressed and repressed for so long that you might not recognise them at first. Also you have repressed them because they were so painful the first time you felt them. Allow yourself to be nurtured and to find your safe space within. This is why Louise Hay says : stop scaring yourself.

Trust and believe in the Divinity of your Goddess

Get to know Her Powers and allow yourself to rely on them.

Trust that your Goddess will reveal herself through your actions

Trust that every decision that do make, every action that you take, are inspired by her. Trust that She is always taking you to a better place. Know that She only has your best interests at heart. Know that she is only Love. Her ways might be mystifying to you and the course that She takes might not always be the road that you would have chosen, but know that you cannot see into the future – you do not know the plan. The plan only wants you to find your magic.

A truly magical life is a sacred marriage between our human self and our Divine SElf. This is within our reach.

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How many seeds of the sacred Pomegranate did you ingest?

In The way of the heart on July 25, 2010 at 12:18 pm

HOW MANY SEEDS OF THE SACRED POMEGRANATE DID YOU INGEST?

The story of individual transformation through the birth, death and re-birth of the personal ego, is beautifully depicted in all its complexity and depths, in the story of the Rape of Persephone. Persephone was known as the maiden goddess Kore, before her abduction by Hades. After her trials and stay in the Underworld, she was reborn as Persephone, Queen of the Underworld. But their is a juicy twist to the tale : before she left the underworld, Hades tricked her into eating four or six or more (depending on the version of the mythic tale that you read) seeds of the sacred pomegranate. Or did he trick her? Did she choose to eat the sacred pomegranate seeds, knowing that for each seed that she eats, she will have to spend a month in the Underworld as the bride of Hades? Was he her daimon* lover, did she secretly succumb to his seductions and fall in love with the darkness itself?

*(daimon is the Greek word for spirit, divine, god or fate. It means a deity who holds complete knowledge)

On her return from the Underworld as Persephone, Queen of the Underworld, Kore steps into her own secret, seemingly dark power. Why is it regarded as her dark power and why has it been kept a secret? The secret of Persephone’s success is the beauty of the Queen of the Underworld – a secret that women who have been too terrified to go there, would kill to possess! The secret of Persephone’s beauty, her experience of Hades, cannot be shared. It has to be experienced and then, with insight into the personal daimon/suppressed divine masculine/shadow, these gifts can be unearthed and re-birth into more of the authentic self is possible.

The myth

Kore, later known as Persephone, the young Greek maiden goddess, through her ravishing beauty, attracted the attention of Hades, ruler of the Underworld. He sought her father, the god Zeus’ permission for Kore to become his bride. Zeus gave his permission and one bright morning, at dawn, while Kore was playing in the meadows, a crack in the earth opened and Hades emerged from underneath the crust of the earth and dragged the maiden down into the darkness below.

In the underworld, Hades tried his utmost to seduce the innocent Kore. Her mother, Demeter, Goddess of the harvest and corn, was distraught at the abduction of her daughter. As she mourned and searched the earth for Kore, the earth became barren and the crops withered and died. Eventually Zeus, forced by the famine of his people, demanded that Hades return Kore to the light of the upper world.

However, before she leaves the Underworld, she eats seeds from the sacred pomegranate fruit. For each seed that she ate, she has to return as the bride of Hades and live for one month in the Underworld. In some versions of the myth she ate four and in some she ate six seeds – therefore having to spend half the year below, in darkness.

In order to know our authentic selves, it is necessary to spend a certain amount of time in darkness in our own underworld. During these times of trial and difficulty, we will be taken into a deep sleep-like state, such as told in the stories of Psyche and Sleeping Beauty. Those for whom the task has been too gruelling, may lose heart or fall into despair and self-blame during these dark times. Learning from personal experience is often painful, self-revelatory and embarassing; it may initially feel like an admission of failure to face the reality of a relationship founded upon projection or to discover that what you thought was one of your personal attributes was in fact non-existent. These are just some of the many masks worn by the inner daimon.

The inner daimon is a divine messenger from the divine beloved, the purusha, the divine soul mate, who appears to women in various stages of awakening in their lives. The daimon lover first appears in the sexual awakening of the maiden and when these experiences are not validated or recognised, the dance of suppression of her true authentic self starts. The daimon is not an incarnate man, but the representative of Love Itself in the spirit of the divine and inspirational masculine. The daimon in women is the true inner divine masculine, without the masks of the masculine self.

The daimon lover, who can only be known through marriage in the underworld, will provide us with the light, motivation, purpose, guidance and great passion to undertake and complete the Great Work of birth, death and re-birth. It will rescue us from the chaos of the unbalanced feminine and the power of unrecognised sexuality and creativity. By the light of our authentic selves we will be able to recognise the negative that runs rampant in the garden within, without the structure and focus of the inner masculine. We will be able to recognise the distorted masculine self which acts with self-judgement; that is driven through the need for recognition, power and dictatorial authority; self-criticism and extreme self-control and living in accordance with the image of the ‘eternal pure virgin’.

Naked desire of the human soul is the desire for wholeness and for the complete and total experience of Love Itself. This desire in every soul is encoded and clothed in a certain image or imprint. This image is what will call you and seemingly seduce you, to enter the dreaded Underworld and the realm of Hades. But in hindsight, you will look back, and understand that you never had any choice. That indeed, as in the words of Jung, the darkness conceals the gold. And i would like to go one step further and state that the darkness is the Beloved and that all shadow behaviour is in fact the Light acting as emmissary of Love Itself.

Our shadow holds the same vibration as our authentic soul self. These are often referred to as ‘twin flames’. We have to work with both the Light and the shadow to uncover the true self. The constellation of conditioning and the projection of others and the personality, can only be dismantled when we are open and receptive to the spirit messenger, to the one that bridges this world and the divine world. We have to pay attention to our dreams, poems and visions, and we have to TRUST the guidance that come from within and through these resources and innately feminine talents and gifts. We can only do this successfully through our own authentic selves, uncovered through direct personal experience. When we rely on other’s theories, opinions and knowledge, we lose our opportunity to unearth the divine wisdom of the true self. True masters teach that there is no wisdom in religion, tradition or spiritual paths. It is only someone else’s say-so and subjective belief. True wisdom is only possible through direct knowing – it then becomes Knowledge.

The naked intent of love for the sake of Love alone, will invoke the rain of Grace, turning the inner wasteland into the secret garden where the Divine Beloved, the Purusha, dwells. That which is experienced here, in divine bliss, can never be shared, but will be visible by its fruits of humility and compassion.

The term ‘daimon lover’ was coined by Caitlin Matthews and i use it here with poetic license and maybe in a different context to her work on the animus.

Meditation Exercise for Resurrection

In The way of the heart on July 20, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Meditation Exercise and Practise no. 1
We are often aware that we are trying to facilitate change for ourselves. We are also often acutely aware that something within has to die. It may even feel like a mask that has to be peeled away; an outer container that has to be broken through in order for the chrysalis to transform into a butterfly. But we are not always conscious of the next step that we are required to take. Remember, that you will be asked to go through this process many times in your life and there are seven major initiatory passages through which you will have to find your way. And the way through is by letting go, allowing the dissolution to take place, before the resurrection and re-birth can become a reality.
There is only today and the present moment, but we choose to hold on to our stories and to our history. We choose to carry over the hurts and the resentments and make it part of our identity. But the immortal, timeless self has no history and no baggage. The timeless eternal self knows how to find the freedom and the divine bliss and your body and brain is wired to facilitate this journey!! So, walk with me, enter through the gates and follow the river that flows to the ocean of bliss.
The personal self does not exist. It is a conglomeration of stories and ideas, concepts and beliefs, which can change in the blink of an eye. It takes great courage to practise the acceptance that you do not exist and therefore that none of your personal accomplishments are important. The human mind has been conditioned into attachment, but as the Buddha discovered, attachment leads to suffering.
The following is a very powerful tool and exercise to facilitate the unclothing of the self and the dismantling of the constructions that you have erected around your true nature. It will help you to release the grip of subconscious beliefs and limiting thoughts, if you practise this regularly. It is a gentle, expanding meditation, that will prepare the way for deeper processes (to follow).
Sit down and prepare for meditation.
Set the alarm for twenty minutes.
Quieten your mind and take a few deep breaths.
Now turn your attention inwards.
Be with yourself both in mind and heart, i.e. in your thoughts and feelings.
Regard yourself as a completely new person and being. Your history no longer exists. Let it go. Let it flow from you. Allow it to peel away from your energy field. Relax even deeper.
Everything that you have done, that you have achieved, no longer exists. Let it go. Let it flow from you. Let it go, let it go. Your past is not you. Your past no longer exists. Let it go. Allow it to leave your energy field. Feel the emptiness that is being created. None of the decisions and choices that you have made up till now, is valid. You are in the present moment. There is only the present moment. It is empty and void. You are in the void. You are the void. Experience yourself and the absolute complete emptiness. Maintain your focus and awareness on the nothingness. Remain with the no-thing. Breathe the no-thing. Be the no-thing.
Stay in this space of awareness of nothing as long as you can. It may take a few practise sessions to fully relax into the acceptance that your past no longer exists. Observe your own thoughts and feelings, and continue to let go, let go, let go. This practise will take its own form and become your own personal experience and journey.
Remember, we never step into the same river twice.
blessings on your journey

Resurrection

In resurrection on July 20, 2010 at 6:35 am

Resurrection, Regeneration and Re-birth


These are words and images desired by all and often pursued with great intent and focus. But, alas, this part of the journey implies a preceding destruction, dissolution and death – something which the human mind would rather deny or avoid at all costs.
Nothing can be created without destroying something else. Anyone who is consciously creating art, will know this principle well. Often one becomes paralyzed at the thought of breaking down that which seems to be serving you well and that which has proven a worthy vehicle, but you cannot build without breaking down. Even if it only means that where previously there was an empty space of land, and you now create a new building, you still have to destroy the empty land.
And this also holds true for the self. Leaving the old behind invites that you step into the unknown, into a new part of the adventure, without a map and without a clear detailed plan. This calls for great courage and action – both characteristics of the heart chakra. Action as in an inner attitude, a willingness to do things differently, a willingness to let go of who you think or believe you are. For instance, it is no use telling your partner or your family, that ‘you are not an emotionally demonstrative person’ when you know that he/she is yearning for some display of affection from you. It is about reaching out, taking the risk, becoming vulnerable, and doing that which your heart calls for. This can be something really small – look at it as a pebble on the surface of a lake – the smallest pebble creates many circles and ever-widening circles – the same as love in action.
The human resists change, but life is an ever-changing flow, with nothing permanent or ‘absolute’. Everything depends on your perspective, your beliefs and your paradigm. Many sages have set out to demonstrate this reality to seekers, but the power of the mind and its fear of change and the unknown is very strong and this is seated in the lower parts of the brain, known as the primitive or reptilian brain and the limbic brain (more about this in further blogs).
The answer lies in the higher functions of the brain – illumination and ‘enlightenment’ is a function of the higher brain and accessible to all human beings! The activation of higher neural pathways in the brain, is the goal of all energy healing, mystical traditions, practices and very importantly, the goal of meditation. Activate the higher pathways of the brain and you will be re-born into a new reality – one where it is possible to live with the tension of the opposites; where you will know, as the Shaman, that it is possible to live in your own reality, beyond the laws that govern the world created by the lower mind, artist and creator of your own life – albeit always as a part of the whole. Entering the domain of the artist/creator/shaman does not equate the status of ‘God’/Creator/AllThatIs. We are a spark of the Fire and we are both nothing and everything, mortal and immortal, of no consequence and of every consequence. This is part of the paradox that will become clear to you as you step into direct encounters with the ‘mystical’ world. (I place many of these words in apostrophes as they are all words laden with belief and conditioning. The way in which I use them will only become clear to you if you continue to read my words and gain a deeper understanding of the meaning that I am trying to convey to you).
By activating the higher pathways of the brain, the old recording and habitual (mostly negative) thinking is erased. The gates are opened to a peaceful existence without fear and anxiety rooted in the cellular memory and generated by the primitive and limbic parts of the brain. The entire energy structure of the human being is transformed. The luminous body grows and expands and the higher chakras become active. A large and powerful energy field is created, radiating compassion and tolerance and others are attracted to this Love.
A new way of understanding and thinking will become natural and this is available to everyone as part of their evolution into a ‘spiritual divine’ being. But in order to activate these higher centres, you have to do the work and above all, you have to allow the changes to take place. You have to die to the old, spend time in the cave of death and the Underworld, going through the pain of loss, and face the fear of death, before you can be resurrected into a new you. This is a physical and real initiation. Undergoing energetic and mystical initiations cannot replace the physical initiation. They can prepare your mind and test your willingness, but ultimately, you have to walk the talk and you will be given the opportunity to be tested. You will undergo this initiation many times until you finally face the final initiation, that of mortal and physical death. Should you pass these initiations, and grow ‘wings’ as you return from each one, it is said that you will retain knowledge of your personal essence and you will not be re-absorbed into the river of unconsciousness after the final death of the body.
Often one starts with a spiritual practice and changes (as promised) will arrive on your doorstep. However, because these do not fit in with your paradigm and your ideas of who you are and where you are going, you ignore these messengers. The spiritual traditions are all vulnerable to distortion to suit your own, or your spiritual leader’s needs and agenda. Everything that looks like gold, is not always gold. The shadow is a powerful adversary and a wonderful instrument in service of the fearful self. When the self fears change and the unknown, it will employ the shadow self as a servant in the game of keeping you in the dark. We have many tools to our disposal, such as rationalisation, justification, postponement, sloth (the lack of courageous action, the lack of integrity), and others. The shadow is a master of distortion and will use well-known spiritual terminology and concepts to hold you prisoner. When fear is present, love is absent.

That then, is the test. Am I in fear or am I in Love? There is no other choice. If you are not in love, then set about discovering why you are in fear. Ask the questions and live the questions. Be patient. Eventually you will live the answers.
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