Hettienne Ma

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Living in Duality is an Act of Love

In Uncategorized on February 28, 2011 at 5:13 pm

Living in Duality is an Act of Love.


Living in Duality is an Act of Love

In Diksha, divine feminine, Messages, The Path of Love, The way of the heart on February 28, 2011 at 6:47 am

Living in duality is a wonderful gift that we have given to ourselves and it is not something that need be ‘overcome’ or ‘transcended’.  There are schools of thought that teaches that maya (the illlusion of duality) should be left behind as fast as we can. But in my experience, it is through the immersion of ourselves into the body and its sensory experience, by living our emotions and feelings, applying our mind and ultimately trusting on Higher Wisdom, that we and our experience here becomes transformed into joy.

I can only speak from my own experience and I have learnt that  my intense devotive passion, which at times is my greatest challenge and obstacle, has also proved to be my most powerful ally on this journey.

Life for me started out  with a heightened awareness and sensitivity.  Having been born with clairvoyant abilities, and others all with the prefix of ‘clair’ (meaning clear), life had many layers to it.  As these layers were only clear to me and not to those around me, I was quite happy to have my own experience and to live in my own world.

Until my social interaction widened and I learnt that we should label everything.  All of a sudden my experiences no longer seemed so clear and my paradise seemed to exist only in my own world.  This sense of separation has been my greatest  motivator on my spiritual journey.  At first, I did not realise that this was what I was looking for – albeit sometimes in the weirdest places.

It is actually all very simple.  If we could allow ourselves, and of course, if our social training and conditioning could have been such, as to allow us, to have simple trust and faith : both in the Divine in whatever form or non-form and in OURSELVES.  The key is to know that I Am God That I Am.  And that this is not reserved exclusively for the saints and holy persons and neither does this mean that you know it all, or that you have full access to the Divine Mind and can know all the Mysteries.

But it does mean that you are not separated and has never been.  It does mean that your very soul is of the same fabric as the Divine and that ‘i’ is actually ‘I”.  This also implies that you have been given a treasure of potential power and strength which is mostly never mined in this life.

The separation is created by your own beliefs, by what you believe about the world and about yourself, how you see yourself, by the attachment and investment to your own personal identity.  A Course in Miracles make it so beautifully simple :  there are only two feelings : Fear or Love.  And whichever you choose, will determine your experience, your world and your destiny.

Choosing Love means that you have to choose the improbable, miracles and the ‘other’, with that I mean you will be going against the ways of your culture, your society and probably, your family.  It means that you will have to forgive and forgive, every moment of every day.  You will have to forgive yourself, your society, your culture, your gender, and mainly, you will have to forgive the Divine for putting you here in this ‘divine comedy’ which at times do not seem funny at all!

You may fight and scream and resist, until you Realise that there is no getting off this bus.  You can participate or you can sit this one out, but you have nowhere else to go, so you may as well make the most of it??

Your most powerful tool is to get to know yourself and your own nature.  When you know yourself, you Know God.  How do you get to know yourself?  By doing the great work – unpleasant and painful at times.  It calls for great courage to face your own darkness and shadows.  It calls for inner strength to face your greatest fears.  It calls for deep compassionate love, starting with yourself, for everything!.

Make time every day for contemplation and meditation.  Just start.  Set aside 20 minutes every day and gradually increase this.  Find a cd for a guided meditation until you have the hang of it.  As you withdraw from the senses and the stimulation of the physical world, and you enter that deep silence within, you come closer to knowing God the formless.  Meditation acts like a deep cleanse.  It purifies the mind of its attachments and its never ending desire for stimulation and possession of experiences.  It releases you from your identity and the personality with all its traits and characteristics.  It rewires your nervous system and creates new neural pathways in the brain.  In other words, it is a rebirth.

Set time aside to journal every day.  As you express those unspoken feelings and thoughts, they are seen.  Once they have been acknowledged, they are in your awareness, and the Light of your Spirit will illuminate them through your conscious awareness and they can be burnt away in the fire of acceptance.

Observe yourself.  Distance yourself from your personality.  Remember that your personality is a collage of your conditioning, your experiences, your belief systems, your childhood, your parents, etc etc.  You are not your personality so let go of your identification of it.

You are not your identity.  You are not the roles you are fulfilling at this time in your life.  All of these can change in the blink of an eye and you will still exist.  Life teaches us through change, so be willing to change in every second and every minute, without attachment.

Have many tools in your toolkit.  Use your mind and apply yourself to your own inner world.  As much energy as you spend in doing your job well, or taking care of your family, or creating masterpieces, apply that same passion and energy to your own inner world.  Love creates the form and not the other way around.  That means that you first imagine and believe something to be true before it manifests in your life and in your world. You are the king of your own kingdom : it is your duty to control your own mind.

Extend yourself to others.  It is through extension of the self that we truly learn to know the Self.  Face your fears of rejection, of being judged, of looking like a fool and reach out to others. Live vulnerable.  When we are vulnerable, our hearts are open and we treat others and ourselves with sensitivity.  The ego’s greatest weapon in its arsenal against You, is its ability to desensitize you.  It has the power and ability to turn you into an automaton, a virtual zombie.  You feel so overwhelmed by your suppressed feelings and fears, that you start to cut off from your inner voice, you close your heart and effectively closes down your sensitivity and compassion and become so focused on fulfilling your own needs, that you become oblivious to everything else.  You do things without questioning them; you accept the norm without pause.

A good example is becoming a vegetarian.  I am confronted about being vegetarian as it makes others feel uncomfortable, as though they are being judged for their own carnivorous eating habits.  But we do not feel the impact of another’s judgement unless that voice echoes in our own inner voice.  Pay attention to this in future.  When someone says something that you absolutely have no attachment to, you just wave it away and never think about it again.  But when they touch a nerve, you become defensive and upset.  I always reiterate with the question ‘have you been to an abattoir?  Can you witness the process of animals reared for slaughter from the day of their birth?  Can you stand to watch them cooped up in the smallest spaces, never seeing the sun or feeling the earth under their feet? and then can you watch them being slaughtered?  Well, I cannot.

Love is a state of being;  it is both dynamic and receptive in order to birth.  Love is not an object or a sentiment or even a feeling.  Love is not good or bad.  Love Is.  It is the very fabric of ourselves and our existence. It exists but it is invisible and living in duality gives us the opportunity to make Love visible and to give it Life.

You are Love and the voice of Love lives within you.  She whispers to you in every moment and guides you in every action.  Whether you pay attention or not, that is your choice and your power.  Ultimately She has all the answers for you and those answers are not buried in spiritual traditions, nor in the authority of others, nor in their lives.  But in your own heart and soul.  Your life may appear small to others and your name may not be written in footlights, but your every action is Love in action.

Whether you express it positively or negatively; whether you experience pain or joy; whether you spread happiness or grief; you are Love in action.  Love does not judge.  Love does not condemn.  Love is unconditional.  In the world of duality, we have been given the illusory power of making something good or bad and of harming or helping another or ourselves.  But ultimately, behind the veil of Maya, none of it is True.  The Truth cannot be named, nor explained or described.  The Truth can only be known by you.  You may Know it as a resonance within, or a sound within.  Either way, what you Know as your Truth, that Is so.  And the more you Know Truth, the deeper you will want to immerse yourself in Truth.  Thus the journey is never at an end.  And it can only be experienced and shared whilst in duality.

Thus we are all at various stages of Knowing Truth and lots of confusion arises because everyone speaks of and teaches from their place of knowing the truth.  But the ultimate Truth can only be known by yourself in your own inner kingdom of Love.

The Journey of Setting yourself Free

In Diksha, divine feminine, Messages, resurrection, The Path of Love, The way of the heart on February 26, 2011 at 1:14 pm


Do you wake up tired?  Do you have days on end when you have no energy?  Are you aware of a feeling of slight depression most of the time?  Do you often have an underlying sense of anxiety?  If you answer yes to any of these questions, your unconscious self (or subconscious) is telling your conscious self (your personality) that you need to access a hidden part of yourself .

The human mind hides aspects of its personality from itself, based on its judgement that this aspect is undesirable and that it needs to defend itself against itself, as it were.

If you can find out what it is that you are hiding from yourself, it is then possible for you to integrate this dark part back into the whole.

As you take your power back from your shadows, you will find that you become energized and that you feel buoyant more often and for longer periods of time. You will find that you feel  happy and fulfilled with life and yourself, just as is.   You will feel ‘charged’ with energy and vitality and you will find yourself saying ‘is life not wonderful?’.  You will be able to manifest in the physical world as your ability to focus will increase naturally.  Your creative expression will be able to flow without any constrictions and you will find that time has no relevance to you.  You will be able to do in 24 hours what used to take you days.

I see the shadows as thoughts, emotions and fears that lurk in our subconscious and which is not obvious or even known to our conscious mind. As we resist these shadows, inner conflict is created.  This state of inner conflict creates inner tension and it takes most of our energy to maintain this state of tension.  This state of conflict and inner tension is brought about by our preference to experience that which we regard as good or pleasant or positive.

The world of duality implies by its very nature polarities.  Through our judgement of good or bad, holy or evil, desirable or undesirable, we sentence ourselves to many lifetimes imprisoned in the world of physicality with its limited vision and understanding.  As we let go of the need to judge experiences as good or bad, but to accept the flow of life into our reality, as it is, we transcend duality.  When you transcend duality you move into the oneness (see the discussion on the Triangle) and you set yourself free.

As we transcend the world of duality, we will achieve unity consciousness.  Unity consciousness is within the individual.  As one becomes a whole, integrated being, you perceive life from a higher vantage point which means that you are able to see more of the picture.

Because we live in the physical world of duality, we have been taught to judge everything as positive or negative.  Once we understand that the duality is an expression of the One and therefore, they are just two sides of the same coin, we can let go of the need to judge in order to protect ourselves.

When we remember that the very nature of Life is Love and that all expressions are thereof of Love, we can reprogram ourselves to trust All That Is.

Sometimes we are more aware of them, but most of the time they remain only shadows.  Through conditioning we have become too fearful to look into those shadows to see what they contain that poses such a threat to our happiness and even survival.

Without being aware of it, most of our energy is spent in suppressing, denying or avoiding these shadows.  It becomes a habitual way of living.  As soon as the conscious mind takes control of the personality, it moves into ‘control mode’ which it considers as a protective and/or defensive mode.

Caught up in these shadows is a lifetime of conditioning and programming.  These suppressed parts of ourselves is stuck energy and this energy can be released through various tools, such as past life regression, inner child work, emotional release work and by applying the Freedom through Love process.

When you access your unexpressed fears and feelings you are taking the first step on the journey of becoming free :  free to be yourself and free to love yourself unconditionally.

You can recognize the need for clearing in your life through the following :

Tiredness upon waking





Mood swings

Being angry

Chronic fatigue

Chronic disease

Pay attention to ANY physical symptoms, as the state of inner tension will manifest as dis-ease in the physical body.

Being involved in a painful or unpleasant relationship


To see what I am talking about, try the following exercise.

Upon waking up after a good night’s sleep, in those first moments of consciousness, see how different you feel.  Become aware of that complete feeling of ease and peacefulness.  Observe how quiet the mind is for that instant.  In that moment before the mind takes over, you are your true Self.  You are completely at peace, without any unconscious fears or defensive patterns expressing themselves.  This is the Real You that lives behind your eyes.  This is the time before you don your masks for yourself and for the world.

This quiet, serene state becomes your natural state more and more as you clear all your shadows.  These shadows form the murky veil of illusion between you and your true state of being.

As you take your power back from your shadows, you will find that you become energized and have a positive frame of mind most of the time, without any effort on your part.     Unconditional love and forgiveness will be your natural expressive self.


Step 1 :  Find out  WHAT exactly it is that you are suppressing and hiding from yourself.

How to go about this

Find a quiet place to be by yourself.  Take a few moments to become contemplative.  A short meditation will enhance your ability to allow the subconscious to flow into your conscious mind.

Set the intent, through prayer or by lighting a candle or by just stating, to allow the hidden wisdom of your subconscious to flow into your mind.  Also state your willingness to accept whatever it is that comes to you and your willingness to hand over to Spirit and to give up the need to hang onto the judgement.

Divide a piece of paper into two columns.  Mark the one column as negative and the other as positive.

Focus on the feelings which prompted you to start the process.

Write these feelings down in the first column marked ‘negative’.

Write down as many words that describe what it is that you are or were feeling, as possible.

The more words you use and the more expressive they are, the closer you will get to the root cause of your discomfort.

When you are satisfied that you have thoroughly expressed your feelings, start on the ‘positive’ column.

For every negative feeling, write down its positive opposite.


NEGATIVE                                                                            POSITIVE

Angry                                                                                       Accepting

Hurt                                                                                           Happy

Bitter                                                                                        Joyous

Hateful                                                                                     Loving

Very Angry                                                                            Understanding

Furious                                                                                     Allowing

I want revenge                                                                       Forgiveness

I want to hurt back                                                               Compassion

Betrayed                                                                                    Supported

Unrespected                                                                             Respected

Unwanted                                                                                  Wanted

Unloved                                                                                      Loved

Rejected                                                                                      Desired

Thrown away                                                                             Cared for

Cast off                                                                                          Nurtured

Unlovable                                                                                    Lovable

Awful                                                                                             Wonderful

Disgusting                                                                                    Beautiful

I hate myself                                                                               I love myself

I pity myself                                                                                I admire myself

I cannot live with myself                                                        I am at peace with myself

Because we experience and perceive Life as the duality, whenever you express the one pole of existence, you immediately attract its opposite.  We contain both the negative and the positive, therefore, if you feel awful, you also can feel wonderful.

When your list is completed, hand it over to Spirit.  Surrender all these feelings, both positive and negative, to God/Goddess/All That Is.  Ask Spirit (God) to remove these feelings from your psyche.  Ritual has great grounding power and the following rituals will assist in bringing the message home to the physical body.

– You can open your hands and raise them to the sky to physically demonstrate your handing over and letting go of these feelings and negative thoughts.

– You can burn the list that you made.

– You can go and have a bath (add a handful of Epsom salt – it assists in the clearing of the energy body) or take a shower.  State the intent that as you immerse yourself in the water, you are washing these feelings and thoughts from you.  Visualise the water running away into Mother Earth, where these negative energies are transmuted back into Light and offer this Healing Light to others in need.

This is the first step in accessing and re-integrating your various separated selves.  In this first stage of the process you identify which feelings you are dealing with.

Your challenge at the end of this first step is  to :  LET GO, LET GOD.

Based on your KNOWING and TRUST  that God is Love, you can allow yourself to surrender the need to hold onto all feelings of judgement.

The Freedom through Love Process has been recorded onto a compact disc.  You can order a copy from http://www.freedomthroughlove.org.


In Uncategorized on February 15, 2011 at 6:52 am


(Extracted from Dance of Life by Audrey Savage)

We constantly find ways to stop our flow between Need and Finishing.  Each of us finds favourite ways to interrupt our smooth flow.  We obstruct, block, hold  back, hinder, rationalize, or impede in many was.  We all do it, often need to do it, and usually don’t recognize doing it.

For instance, if your need is a drink of liquid, you may be stopped on your path to the source of the liquid by a friend who just has to tell you the latest news, by a ringing phone or by an inability to find a source.  These obstructions come from outside of you.  However, most stoppers come from inside.

You can find stoppers or ways to obstruct fulfilling your need at each level of your cycle of experience.    The first is to be sure that you never know what the need is.  The best way of keeping yourself from recognizing your need is to numb yourself.  Your addictions will help you there.

Once you have recognized your need, you can stop yourself from going further by denying that the need is important.  For instance, your need is to understand why you are so depressed.  You tell yourself stories, ‘I am not depressed’,  ‘If I am depressed nobody hurts but me’,  If I try to find out why I’m depressed, I’ll just get more depressed’, etc.

If denial doesn’t stop your need, and your body should get into gear for action the next step would be to make the excitement go away.  Depressing your actions or feelings often works here.  You can keep your body from getting excited about anything.  Another way is to get excited about everything.  For instance, you cannot decide and you flatten your excitement until the need seem to disappear.

If you are in the middle of taking an action and want to stop, you can physically halt your movement.  You can will your muscles to slow down, to stop and even to relax.  For instance, if you are angry with someone and your need is to hit him or her, your higher mind can tell you to hold back.  However, this often leaves a residue of conflict in your muscles.  This action can also be used to stop yourself from going dancing, going to work or playing.

Other ways to interrupt the flow of your connection is to rigidly follow a set of rules that does not fit the situation.  Your need is for a relationship.  You cannot go out with an attractive person because you always do your laundry on the day you were invited.  You lose your chance.

Or you can blame the other for anything that is not as you would have it.  Your need is to find a way to pay the bills.  You blame your job, your boss, your friends, family, or lover, and your status.  You blame everything but yourself and the way you earn and handle your money.

The last stopper : once you have what you think you need, hang on tight.  Never let go.  If your need was thirst, never stop drinking.  If your need is a relationship, never let the person be independent, or separate.  If your need is rest, stay in bed forever.  If your need is knowledge, do nothing but read books, confer with teachers or look for that next degree.

As often you stop yourself out of habit or for worn out reasons.

The Silent Heart Diksha

In Diksha, divine feminine, Messages on January 21, 2011 at 9:45 am

You have direct access to the Divine within.  This is your birthright. All minds are One and sharing in the presence of a mind that has opened up, you are strengthened in your own journey to Awakening.

Various diksha are given by the Masters and Beings of Light.  These beings are experienced as Consciousnesses rather than individuals with personalities.  Each one of these Consciousnesses support you through the various stages of your unfoldment.

Diksha is the transference of spiritual energy.  This usually takes place from a teacher/guru in a specific tradition to an initiate.  There are various forms of Diksha and different  ways in which Diksha can be received, ie through touch, sight, word or mantra, ritual or ceremony.

The word is derived from the Sanskrit root dā (“to give”) plus ki (“to destroy”) or alternately from the verb root dīk (“to consecrate”).

Vishnu Yamala (tantra) says: “The process that bestows divyam jnanam (transcendental, spiritual knowledge) and destroys sin (pāpa), the seed of sin and ignorance, is called diksha by the spiritual persons who have seen the Truth (desikais tattva-kovidaih)

Different traditions and sects treat diksa in various ways. Tantra mentions five types of initiation or diksa: initiation by a ritual or samaya-diksa; sparsa-diksa is an initiation by touch and is done without a ritual; vag-diksa is done by word or mantra; sambhavi-diksa is arising from perception of external appearance of the guru; mano-diksa is when initiation is performed in the mind

The Silent Heart diksha flows from Mother Mary, Guardian of the Sacred Heart and Gatekeeper of the Feminine Christ Energy.

It has the power to release trauma, physical, mental and emotional.  The energies flow directly to the physical heart and heart chakra.  It often brings  many emotional openings to the receiver and a heightened emotional state is experienced for a while.  As part of this opening up, the receiver feels everything more intensely, the numbed down layers are activated and opened up and this may feel chaotic and like emotional turmoil.  But in truth, this is a very deep and profound healing as we are meant to feel.  We have been conditioned in becoming emotionally numb and this leads to a deep state of isolation, loneliness and desperate feelings of being separate from your Source and Divine Self. You need to feel in order to heal.  Being in touch with the Divine Feminine and the Feminine Christ means that you are aware of the mortality of this physical life; that you have empathy with others, tolerance and deep compassion.  The Silent Heart Diksha will enable you to find true acceptance for your own personal self and its archetypal journey into the Self.

The Silent/Healing Heart Diksha will release emotional pain, release anger and resentment and purify the energy system.  It brings deep healing to the physical heart and the physical body as a whole.  It has powerful grounding energies and bring you into your core and into your connection with Mother Earth and your own Spirit.


Sit comfortably and quieten your mind.  Visualise the image of Mother Mary in your mind’s eye. You may want to create a small altar with her image,  incence and fresh flowers. Or you can use the image below.


Call on Her presence.  ‘Oh Divine Mother, please come to me;  bless me with your Presence and reveal yourself’.  You may become aware of a colour, a sensation or a strong rush of emotion.  Allow, allow, allow.  You may want to stay in the awareness of her Grace for a few moments before continueing.

‘Oh Divine Mother, by the power of Love vested in you and in myself, I ask to receive the Silent Heart Diksha.  I am willing to open my heart and mind to receive this healing and I am willing to allow the healing and transformation to take place day by day.  Thank you thank you thank you. Jai Maa! So Be It’

Stay in this energy for 15 to 20 minutes until you feel the energies dissipate.  It is best to lie down for a short while afterwards and also to drink a glass of water.  You may keep a glass of water with you when you follow up with the Silent Heart Meditation.  You can drink this water yourself or give to others in need of healing or peace.



After having received the Diksha into your energy, follow up for the next 7 days daily and continue regularly with this specific meditation to deepen the energies and whenever you feel in need of Her Presence, Grace and Peace.

Sit comfortably and become aware of your breath.  Be aware of your natural rhythm of breathing and do not control or manipulate the breath.  Keep the focus on the breath for a while till you feel grounded and centred.

Set the intent through saying the following words :

By the Grace of the Mother Mary and the Divine Feminine Christ, I have received the Silent Healing Heart Diksha.  I now immerse myself and my consciousness deeply into the Presence and allow myself to receive the complete healing.  Thank you thank you thank you and so be it.

Then focus on surrendering the personal self.  As you turn your attention inwards, focus on the heart chakra and continue to breath normally.  Immerse yourself deeper and deeper, more and more inward, consciously renouncing your senses and your attachment to the personal self and your life and all its activities and objects.  Take it slowly.  Allow the process to take place in its own time.  Keep on focusing on bringing the attention back to the physical heart and renouncing.  You may use the mantra as follows :

Divine Mother

I renounce my self, I renounce my all

I renounce, I renounce all to you.

Or you can create your own mantra or prayer.  The focus here is to surrender, to renounce, to sacrifice and to let go of.  In the beginning, the mind may resist, but with practise this will become easier and more effortless.

Should strong emotions and tears follow, allow these to flow and then bring the focus and awareness back to the heart chakra and return to the process.





Here and Now

In Uncategorized on January 20, 2011 at 8:25 am

Today I walked outside expecting to say ‘good morning’ to the two weaver chicks in my pin oak tree and, the truth be told, just to check on them and make sure that their mother has been doing a good job!  For weeks I have been observing the beautiful journey. It started with the male weaving nest after nest – never daunted in his task by the female’s dissatisfaction with his every attempt at creating the perfect nest for her precious eggs.

Eventually, she was happy with his fifth attempt!  She moved in and soon there were two tiny mouths that had to be fed constantly.  As I listened to their insistent cries, it brought back memories of my own children and their insistent crying during colic and other baby upsets.  These tiny little chicks were literally only beaks : wide open and never, never closed.  And when the mother arrived with food they greeted her with great excitement.  It became almost second nature for me to listen for their hunger cries and then the calls of joy when they were fed.  This all gave me a wonderful sense of Mother Nature and her incredible powers and that all is well in the world. An Utopian view of the world, no doubt!

Then a week ago, I noticed that the entrance to the nest has now two separate entrances; one for each chick.  And then still a few days later I saw the chicks outside the nest sunning their bright green fluff!  My mothering instinct was awakened and I was so happy and felt so peaceful : all of nature is taking care of its own.

Then this morning I looked up into the leaves and there was no nest!  Nothing, not a sign of the nest.  A few twigs and feathers floated in the water below and I realised that the chicks have left and the mother had deconstructed the nest as it no longer served its purpose.

As I caught my breath I witnessed my feelings of loss! A deep pang of ‘oh no they have gone’ fluttered through my throat; probably mirroring my own process of two grown up children who have recently moved out. But then as I ventured down this path of feeling and allowing itself to unfold and show me the gingerbread house within, I witnessed the lovely play of the ego.

The ego has been demonised in the spiritual tradition and in the quest for enlightenment. Enlightenment is an awakening – sometimes it happens suddenly, for no known reason at all, and at other times it happens after a long period of meditation and an immersion into the unseen and invisible.  But seldom does it happen after studying metaphysics or gathering more knowledge of systems and traditions.  Awakening is exactly what the word says : you wake up from a deep sleep.

Knowledge serves to help you understand the construction of the ego and the existence of the illusion, and it will help to thin those divisive belief systems and walls of separation.  And when you have come to understand, intellectually, that you are not only your ego, but that you are Spirit as well, it is time to accept and to step through the door of surrender!

The ego mind is the one that keeps you asleep.  In order for the ego to stay alive it needs to be fed.  It thus needs your energy for itself.  In order to harvest your energy, it desensitizes you to the intensity of the vibrancy of the true world.  The true world therefore stays unseen and, very importantly, unfelt to you. Your ego with its desire-mind, will keep you enthralled with its own agenda of success, goals, achievement, ambition and sensual needs.  However, the more you direct your focus and attention inward through contemplation and meditation, the more your energy becomes firstly purified from the ego attachments and secondly, the more you become sensitized to the world within and the world that you sense behind the visible world.

Awakening is also directly linked to the opening of the heart – through intense feelings and eventually euphoria or deep peace and bliss.  As the energy is gathered within and withdrawn from the personal ego attachment, the heart starts to feel itself in order to heal.  A difficult period of ‘withdrawal symptoms’ and many challenges and temptations to fall back into the world of the needy and demanding ego, will arise.  But it is exactly through these feelings that you will be guided and led down a seemingly dark tunnel towards the Light of Awakening.

A strong ego is necessary for spiritual development and growth.  This is contrary to many guru’s teachings as students are often told that their ‘ego should be broken down’ and that they should surrender to the will of the guru.   Without an ego you will not have a sense of identity, no discernment, no personal power – you will be completely disempowered.  Without an ego you will not be able to wake up from the sleep as you will not be able to identify your ego attachments and archetypes.  You will be perpetually in a state of confusion, without an idea of what to surrender to the divine and what not.  You will be easily manipulated and taken advantage of by others and you will become their source of energy in the ‘energetic food chain’.  It is only those parts of the ego that has become out of balance and that is overdeveloped, that does not serve and which has to be brought into balance.

There  in nowhere that You are not.  You are holy and everything you touch is holy.  The battle is not between good and bad.  The quest is to wake up from the dream!  Will you wake up from the dream if you fear God?  If you believe that you are imprisoned by a negative, harmful ego, what does that imply?  Who created that ego?  The personal, separate you?  Then by implication you are more powerful than God and therefore you should be feared – no doubt.

We live by implication – by the law of the infinite and invisible. You can only become aware of this Invisible Infinite Law of Love, when you go within. Then it is a process of instilling a deep quiet into your mind.  Focusing on the activity that you are doing with great intent.  Regular disciplined meditation.  Immersing yourself in great art, beauty or poetry.  Spending time in nature.  Spending time alone, away from others and the energetic pull of their minds and emotions.  Withdrawing from relationships regularly in order to purify your energy field from attachment and reaction.

If you are on the quest to awakening, then spend time listening to your own inner voice.  Dialogue with your statements that you make on a daily basis.  Look at the implications of what you believe about yourself and about others.  Clear seeing is very important in the journey of waking up.  And everyone can wake up.

Dialogue with the self and regular meditation will give you access to “seeing” clearly all that there is to “see”, it enables accurate and powerful decisions. And clear-seeing clears the way to put action behind what has been decided, eliminating all resistance in it’s way.

You will  learn to “see” in all levels of Light and reveal that which has been previously hidden. Whether one is male or female, these practices will give you an all important connection to your female side and the most exquisite form of deep wisdom – feminine intuition.

You will be able to grasp the  big picture and create a synthesis and deep understanding from many diverse fragments. When not in balance, it is because a determined intellect is standing in the way, although one believes in a lot of cases that true intuition is active. This leads to self aggrandizement, and deluded behavior based on sheer illusion and fantasy. Such is the plight of many souls who mistakingly believe they “get it”. Realistically speaking, many boldly talk the talk as opposed to walk the walk.

This delusion is present in the absence of meditation and inner awareness.  True inner awareness is not possible and accessible through the ego mind.  As pointed out earlier, the ego mind is the one that is running the agenda and the program to syphen off your energies and clear seeing – so it only stands to reason that it will not aid and abet these attempts at undermining its tyranny.

Prolonged and stubborn resistance to seeing things as they really are, leads to behavior bordering on unrealistic idealism. This eventually causes partial if not whole separation from reality. The ensuing result is an extreme issue with authority (everyone else is wrong – but I am O.K.).

Just because we want to wake up and we know that this is possible, does not make it so.  We have to ACCEPT that have the potential to awaken.  By dropping our insecurities about material (tangible) matters, and trusting in what we can’t see – the “still small voice” becomes proof alone that there is something else – something visible to our “higher” or extra-sensory sensitivities.

Without a disciplined mind, cultivated by a strong ego, the quest for awakening  becomes an ungrounded idealistic fantasy of relying on external others’ authority and mercy.

Only you can give yourself the gift of Love, through honouring yourself and your inner voice.  Honour and pay attention to your deepest feelings, that which your Heart speaks so clearly.  Pay attention to what you say to others and to your first response spoken – before the conditioning re-asserts itself.

And remember, awakening does not mean that you become perfect, nor that you will ever be a perfect person.  Even when fully awakened at present all the time, does not make the enlightened one a perfect being.

As long as you are in a human body, you will always be called upon to make choices based on Love!

Life is a sacred garden

In Uncategorized on January 16, 2011 at 8:46 am

The many  gardens of the world, of  literature and poetry,  of painting and  music, of religion and architecture, all    make the point as clear as possible:  The  soul  cannot thrive in the absence of a  garden.  If you don’t  want paradise, you are  not human;
and if you are not human, you don’t have a soul.
–  Thomas Moore, The Re-Enchantment of Everyday Life, 1996, p.      101

We have recently added a nectar bottle to our collection of bird feeders in the garden.  And what joy it brings to me, the observer and to the birds!  It has drawn many new species to our garden which has led to some more delving into the bird books, getting to know and understand more about the mysterious ways of these beautiful creatures.

I have come to learn that the seemingly gentle and nurturing weavers are actually bullies!  They menacingly chase the sparrows away from the seed feeders and they bully the hummingbirds to such an extent that I will have to put up a separate nectar feeder for them.  The angry waider has a harem of five wives, no less.  When it is mating time, he does not allow any other bird near his patch and this often leads to quite vicious attacks with feathers flying and a high pitched screeching for hours on end!

And so when people ask me ‘why does God allow hurtful behaviour?’, it brings my mind back to my garden filled with birds.  Does anyone ever ask why does God allow the weaver to bully the hummingbird, or why does God allow the hawk to catch a beautiful dove in mid-flight right in front of my eyes on my lawn?  No, that question is seldom asked as it is ascribed to Nature, or the nature of things or the natural way of things.  Well, in the same way do people act in accordance with their nature.  Some people are liars by nature; others are driven by their own greed for power or for ownership.  Most often they do not believe that what they are doing is wrong – in some way they can always justify or rationalise their own actions. In their mind and belief system they maybe think that they had no other choice, or that that was the best course of action.  Also that the ‘noble’ goal justifies the means. And most often we find that people act from a place of entitlement.  They believe that because they have been victims or they have suffered at the hands of another, they are entitled to now claim for themselves, despite causing suffering in another.

So, is it that God ‘allows’ bad things to happen or are bad things part of nature and part of the natural cycle of life? Is God then only good and does that mean that  bad things happen outside His/Its ‘jurisdiction’ or is it that God has given man free will and therefore he has a choice at all times whether he acts as good or bad?

There are no simply straightforward answers to any of these questions  However, there is a place deep within yourself where you Know the answer to these questions and you can bring yourself back to this place, over and over again, and look at life and your nature and find the infinite peace based on the direct knowledge of the Self.  Then you may find yourself trying to make your own knowledge and understanding of the answer to these questions legible for others in your own unique way.

The quandary of living in duality is that we are always faced with a dichotomy.  A part of us know and realises that there is only One and that there is no duality, no good and bad.  And a part of us lives and exists in the body in the world of duality.  But we cannot access the Greater Wisdom of the Soul without living in a body!  Therefore one has to be grounded and committed to this physical existence in order to transform the personal understanding into one of absolute peace.

Therefore, keeping in mind the tension of the opposites of the Absolute and the physical existence, let us look at the statements above.

When is something good or bad?  In order to establish that we have to make a judgement.  Your sense of bad or unacceptable may not be the same as mine.  I suppose generally speaking, we will all agree that something is bad when it hurts ourselves or those or that which we are attached to and have strong feelings about.  But often, when you hear the other side of the story, you have great compassion and understanding for the perpetrator. How often have you watched a movie, starting off wanting revenge for the victim and half way through the movie, you swop sides and you start rooting for the bad guy and you hope he/she never gets caught!

Is it not often that the ‘bad’ person are acting in accordance with his or her own nature, driven by their own conditioning and experiences and above all, through their own ignorance that there is a different way of looking at life and at themselves and that there is a greater picture to be known?

Once we have been hurt by another, many feelings follow and one of the strongest ones are anger.  What is the true nature of anger and what is it telling you?  When you spend enough time with your anger and get to know it intimately, you will find that anger masks a stronger and deeper feeling : shame.

What does shame imply? It implies that you believe that  whatever has taken place should not have happened.  It implies that you believe that you have not  acted in accordance with your or others expectations of yourself or that you did not act in accordance with your own nature. And it implies that the other party should not have acted in that manner.

I am not referring to what psychologists call a healthy sense of shame.  Shame is designed to guide you, to keep you safe, to ensure your survival. But in the hands of the conditioned ego, shame can be used as a self-inflicted punishing whip, designed to keep you from liberation. And only too often, is shame used by both religion and teachers and guides of the various spiritual traditions, to keep you spell-bound and disempowered.  The mere mentioning of the word ‘ego’ brings up deep feelings of shame and many spiritual students and seekers, are very confused about what is actually ego and how to overcome it.

To my mind there is no difference between being told by a church or religious leader that you are born in sin or being told by a guru that ‘it is only your ego speaking and therefore it is not valid!’.  Contemplate on the extreme power in the hands of either of these authority figures!  You therefore cannot trust yourself, or your own ideas and thoughts, because it is all ego and therefore ‘bad’ and it separates you from the Self!  Thus you are disempowered and cut off from your own Source and dependant on others!

The process of shaming starts at a young age when your behaviour is not in accordance with the social and tribal laws of of your family and culture.  And this continues throughout your life : you have to fit in or  you will be shamed.  And then finally you are ultimately nailed to the cross, when you follow a spiritual tradition, designed to lead you to liberation, and you are being shamed for the nature of your ego.

The key word here is ‘nature’.  Who created your nature?  You were created in the image of the Creator;  you come from nothing and you return to nothing.  Thus you are from the Essence of the Creator.  How can you then be ashamed for your nature?

From the moment when you enter existence, you assume a body with DNA, genetic imprint and ancestral history.  You are conditioned by the actions and lack thereof, of your parents and those you grow up with.  You are shaped by nature and nurture.  How can any of this be labelled as ‘bad’?  How many of those choices did you consciously make in this body?  Your body is programmed with instinct and natural responses. None of those are your creations – they are all your natural self.  So if you agree that you did not choose any of these consciously, in this body and this mind, then you have to agree that you are a divine creature.  Therefore, everything is as it should be, although the human mind, by its limited nature, cannot comprehend this mystery.  And if you are a divine creature, so is everyone else, and their actions are all from God.  And then you have to accept that just because you cannot understand it, or it does not fit it with your belief system, it does not mean that it should not have been.  This understanding and acceptance is the first step towards forgiveness and unconditional love (prema).

(Yes, ego can be our greatest obstacle to Self-Realisation, but it is also our vehicle to our innermost Self. But this is a complete topic on its own)

Nature is often referred to as Mother Nature, or Prakriti, the Divine Mother or Goddess.  She who contains the Light in her own nature and who is capable of giving a virgin birth when consummated with the masculine formless consciousness.

Embrace yourself, your divinely created ego and allow Great Mother to guide you from within to living your own spectacular sacred Self!  When you act in a way which does not fit in with the idea of who you are, remind yourself of the bullying weaver and hang garlands of compassion around your neck.  Plant a new seed of  forgiveness and water it everyday with wonderful sweet water and wait for the Mystery to unfold in yourself and your life!

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