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The Journey of Setting yourself Free

In Diksha, divine feminine, Messages, resurrection, The Path of Love, The way of the heart on February 26, 2011 at 1:14 pm


Do you wake up tired?  Do you have days on end when you have no energy?  Are you aware of a feeling of slight depression most of the time?  Do you often have an underlying sense of anxiety?  If you answer yes to any of these questions, your unconscious self (or subconscious) is telling your conscious self (your personality) that you need to access a hidden part of yourself .

The human mind hides aspects of its personality from itself, based on its judgement that this aspect is undesirable and that it needs to defend itself against itself, as it were.

If you can find out what it is that you are hiding from yourself, it is then possible for you to integrate this dark part back into the whole.

As you take your power back from your shadows, you will find that you become energized and that you feel buoyant more often and for longer periods of time. You will find that you feel  happy and fulfilled with life and yourself, just as is.   You will feel ‘charged’ with energy and vitality and you will find yourself saying ‘is life not wonderful?’.  You will be able to manifest in the physical world as your ability to focus will increase naturally.  Your creative expression will be able to flow without any constrictions and you will find that time has no relevance to you.  You will be able to do in 24 hours what used to take you days.

I see the shadows as thoughts, emotions and fears that lurk in our subconscious and which is not obvious or even known to our conscious mind. As we resist these shadows, inner conflict is created.  This state of inner conflict creates inner tension and it takes most of our energy to maintain this state of tension.  This state of conflict and inner tension is brought about by our preference to experience that which we regard as good or pleasant or positive.

The world of duality implies by its very nature polarities.  Through our judgement of good or bad, holy or evil, desirable or undesirable, we sentence ourselves to many lifetimes imprisoned in the world of physicality with its limited vision and understanding.  As we let go of the need to judge experiences as good or bad, but to accept the flow of life into our reality, as it is, we transcend duality.  When you transcend duality you move into the oneness (see the discussion on the Triangle) and you set yourself free.

As we transcend the world of duality, we will achieve unity consciousness.  Unity consciousness is within the individual.  As one becomes a whole, integrated being, you perceive life from a higher vantage point which means that you are able to see more of the picture.

Because we live in the physical world of duality, we have been taught to judge everything as positive or negative.  Once we understand that the duality is an expression of the One and therefore, they are just two sides of the same coin, we can let go of the need to judge in order to protect ourselves.

When we remember that the very nature of Life is Love and that all expressions are thereof of Love, we can reprogram ourselves to trust All That Is.

Sometimes we are more aware of them, but most of the time they remain only shadows.  Through conditioning we have become too fearful to look into those shadows to see what they contain that poses such a threat to our happiness and even survival.

Without being aware of it, most of our energy is spent in suppressing, denying or avoiding these shadows.  It becomes a habitual way of living.  As soon as the conscious mind takes control of the personality, it moves into ‘control mode’ which it considers as a protective and/or defensive mode.

Caught up in these shadows is a lifetime of conditioning and programming.  These suppressed parts of ourselves is stuck energy and this energy can be released through various tools, such as past life regression, inner child work, emotional release work and by applying the Freedom through Love process.

When you access your unexpressed fears and feelings you are taking the first step on the journey of becoming free :  free to be yourself and free to love yourself unconditionally.

You can recognize the need for clearing in your life through the following :

Tiredness upon waking





Mood swings

Being angry

Chronic fatigue

Chronic disease

Pay attention to ANY physical symptoms, as the state of inner tension will manifest as dis-ease in the physical body.

Being involved in a painful or unpleasant relationship


To see what I am talking about, try the following exercise.

Upon waking up after a good night’s sleep, in those first moments of consciousness, see how different you feel.  Become aware of that complete feeling of ease and peacefulness.  Observe how quiet the mind is for that instant.  In that moment before the mind takes over, you are your true Self.  You are completely at peace, without any unconscious fears or defensive patterns expressing themselves.  This is the Real You that lives behind your eyes.  This is the time before you don your masks for yourself and for the world.

This quiet, serene state becomes your natural state more and more as you clear all your shadows.  These shadows form the murky veil of illusion between you and your true state of being.

As you take your power back from your shadows, you will find that you become energized and have a positive frame of mind most of the time, without any effort on your part.     Unconditional love and forgiveness will be your natural expressive self.


Step 1 :  Find out  WHAT exactly it is that you are suppressing and hiding from yourself.

How to go about this

Find a quiet place to be by yourself.  Take a few moments to become contemplative.  A short meditation will enhance your ability to allow the subconscious to flow into your conscious mind.

Set the intent, through prayer or by lighting a candle or by just stating, to allow the hidden wisdom of your subconscious to flow into your mind.  Also state your willingness to accept whatever it is that comes to you and your willingness to hand over to Spirit and to give up the need to hang onto the judgement.

Divide a piece of paper into two columns.  Mark the one column as negative and the other as positive.

Focus on the feelings which prompted you to start the process.

Write these feelings down in the first column marked ‘negative’.

Write down as many words that describe what it is that you are or were feeling, as possible.

The more words you use and the more expressive they are, the closer you will get to the root cause of your discomfort.

When you are satisfied that you have thoroughly expressed your feelings, start on the ‘positive’ column.

For every negative feeling, write down its positive opposite.


NEGATIVE                                                                            POSITIVE

Angry                                                                                       Accepting

Hurt                                                                                           Happy

Bitter                                                                                        Joyous

Hateful                                                                                     Loving

Very Angry                                                                            Understanding

Furious                                                                                     Allowing

I want revenge                                                                       Forgiveness

I want to hurt back                                                               Compassion

Betrayed                                                                                    Supported

Unrespected                                                                             Respected

Unwanted                                                                                  Wanted

Unloved                                                                                      Loved

Rejected                                                                                      Desired

Thrown away                                                                             Cared for

Cast off                                                                                          Nurtured

Unlovable                                                                                    Lovable

Awful                                                                                             Wonderful

Disgusting                                                                                    Beautiful

I hate myself                                                                               I love myself

I pity myself                                                                                I admire myself

I cannot live with myself                                                        I am at peace with myself

Because we experience and perceive Life as the duality, whenever you express the one pole of existence, you immediately attract its opposite.  We contain both the negative and the positive, therefore, if you feel awful, you also can feel wonderful.

When your list is completed, hand it over to Spirit.  Surrender all these feelings, both positive and negative, to God/Goddess/All That Is.  Ask Spirit (God) to remove these feelings from your psyche.  Ritual has great grounding power and the following rituals will assist in bringing the message home to the physical body.

– You can open your hands and raise them to the sky to physically demonstrate your handing over and letting go of these feelings and negative thoughts.

– You can burn the list that you made.

– You can go and have a bath (add a handful of Epsom salt – it assists in the clearing of the energy body) or take a shower.  State the intent that as you immerse yourself in the water, you are washing these feelings and thoughts from you.  Visualise the water running away into Mother Earth, where these negative energies are transmuted back into Light and offer this Healing Light to others in need.

This is the first step in accessing and re-integrating your various separated selves.  In this first stage of the process you identify which feelings you are dealing with.

Your challenge at the end of this first step is  to :  LET GO, LET GOD.

Based on your KNOWING and TRUST  that God is Love, you can allow yourself to surrender the need to hold onto all feelings of judgement.

The Freedom through Love Process has been recorded onto a compact disc.  You can order a copy from http://www.freedomthroughlove.org.


Inner Critic : Judge, Jury and Sentenced : verdict guilty!

In resurrection, The Path of Love, The way of the heart on November 5, 2010 at 7:24 am

The Critical Inner self, or the Inner Judge, is the one voice and aspect of the shadow self, that is at the core of personal stress.  It is this voice that people try to drown through entertainment, drugs, food, and other means of escape.  Most of the courses of action taken are really coping mechanisms in trying to acquire peace within or just to live with the inner critic.

It is an insidious and at times hard to detect, relentless inner voice which eventually leads to your full submission to its will.  This voice may be a combination of internalised voices, such as those of parents or other authority figures.  It often also includes anger and rage which has been turned inward, instead of being directed at the person responsible, and a few other cases which I will discuss below.

It is important to understand that the inner critic was created to protect you from SHAME.  This makes it very difficult to discern and to overcome the critic, as at its core is your deepest fear.  So it serves you and it has served you when you felt humiliated or scorned by another; mostly by parents or other authority figures or your peers.

When you have come to know and be aware of the inner critic, you can become its master and it can serve you.  It can become your inner radar and it can help to guide you when you are off-track.  But in order for that to happen, you need to be aware of and know your inner critic – otherwise it will be your master and jailer!

The inner critic is present in the negative inner voice and also in the inner judge : that part of yourself that makes the rules by which you should live. It is a very cruel and self-deprecating voice and it assumes many guises and roles within and this makes it often quite difficult to detect and pin point. However,   if  you pay attention to this voice long enough, you will notice that it never offers a solution or a way out.  It creates a deep ‘groove’ in your mental pattern and eventually it creates a neural pathway and soon enough, this  becomes your comfort zone – without you realising that this is happening.

It is not heard as a separate voice in your head, but often as a train of thoughts that comments continuously on every action that you take.  During this train of thought it casually and relentlessly puts you down and sabotages your successes.

The inner critic and judge is the one that is creating your anxiety.  It tells you when to worry and what to worry about and believe it or not, you can become addicted to this critical self.  High achievers and goal oriented personality types often use this inner critic as a motivating tool – not through the proverbial carrot in this case, but with the use of a whip!

Often you are placing too much pressure on yourself and your expectations are too high.  In effect, you are setting yourself up to become an easy target and prey to the inner critic.  As in all aspects of the personal self, the inner critic has to be identified and eventually mastered!

It is normal to have concerns about your life and all its aspects and relationships and I am not a believer in transcendence myself nor the New Age adage that all is well and therefore I need do nothing or this is only an illusion, so why should I care.  True spirituality is passionate, grounded, compassionate and present and free from the negative inner voice!

A powerful way of confronting and challenging the inner critic is through
the witnessing self and through the simple question : “Says who?”.

The inner critic is based and rooted in your perceptions.  This is why it is often so powerful to verbalise it towards someone who is supporting you in your quest to overcome the inner critic, as the other person will probably not share your perception and will be able to show you that it is possible to drop that belief system.

However, due to our vibrational resonance with others, we are attracted to those who share our perceptions, belief systems and yes, also the inner critic.  In the beginning of the relationship (and this can be any relationship and often experienced in a teacher/student or guru/disciple relationship) it is all ‘love and light’ and then the dark teacher will appear in the form of the one who awakens your inner critic.  This is a very vulnerable stage of the relationship and also of inner growth and development.  If the teacher/guide/therapist has not overcome enough of his/her inner critic, the vulnerable seeker will be open to manipulation and being taken advantage of and often abused.  Because of the seeker’s own wounding and limited perception, it will be almost impossible to discern and distinguish the dark play. Often this results in an incredible surge and intensification of the seeker’s inner critic and he/she gets sucked deeper into the quagmire of religion or dogma, thus being kept prisoner by his or her own assumed guilt!

When the pain becomes unbearable, the seeker may wake up to this self-abuse and abuse at the hands of another or he/she may try to break the pattern and eventually wake up to the truth.  (or of course there is always the third choice : he/she may move into denial and continue to assume the inner role of victim or martyr).


1. Learn to identify your inner selves and their voices.  Here are some guidelines :

– in which situations does it arise?

– which of your actions make it speak up more loudly?

– what does it tell you about yourself and every aspect of your life?

– does this voice sound mean and angry? does it attack you directly with cruel and demeaning statements about yourself and your actions? (you are not a likeable person; you are so envious/judgemental/selfish)

– or does it trick you with a soft, gentle and self-soothing voice encouraging you to self-indulge and always encouraging you in your self-sabotaging ways? (do not worry, you will be fine – no need to listen to others and their comments – they are just nasty, or jealous – have that second piece of cake, no need to starve yourself)

The inner critic seduces you into acting against your goals and then punishes you when you do so; in fact, for the very action that it encouraged you to take.

2. Witness the inner critic

Keep a notebook with you and write down the voice and statements of the inner critic that you hear and are aware of.  Then turn these statements into ones ‘outside’ of yourself by making them into sentences starting with ‘you’.  For instance, you are such a nasty piece of work.

Then read these sentences and understand that you cannot possible thrive with this voice present.

3.  Let go of the guilt

The first action to take to let go of this sadistic enemy within, is to let go of the guilt.  The inner critic and judge feeds off the guilt.  you will notice the presence of a god that judges in all religions – this is the ultimate projected and personified inner critic and judge.  So, let go of the guilt!

In the words of A Course In Miracles :  you did not create yourself.  You did not create your personality type, choose your genetic tendencies, placed yourself in your early life experiences – how can you therefore assume responsibility and guilt for your own creation.

Secondly, these statements are not true facts about who you are – so set into motion a process of changing those belief systems, find the tools to help you change your perceptions!

4.  Start to react and come from a more loving and compassionate place within yourself

You can counter act these vicious statements with positive affirmations or statements of your true beliefs and especially through the conviction of your faith in a benevolent inner Self.

Take those same negative statements and write them down as positive statements.  Use these continuously.  Stick them where you can see them.  Do not try to transcend this negativity within yourself.  That will be the next step.  First you have to tilt the balance of the scales from negative to positive.  You may find it unrealistic and irritating to be repeating only the positive, but it is a process, go with it.

You will also find that the inner critic will retaliate by trying to drown out the positive voice.  You can remind yourself that that which you feed, grows.  So now when you start to starve this negative voice, it will get angry and hungry and it will demand to be fed.  Just keep on ignoring it and eventually it will die off – in other words, do not give it energy.

5. Actions

Your most powerful ally in this war between yourself and the inner critic and judge is your actions.  The inner critic is a coward and a bully.  It preys on your weaknesses and your most negative and self-deprecating beliefs. It enters the place of pain where you are at your most weakest.  But when you stand up to it, confront it and act in accordance with your goal, DESPITE its roaring and thrashing, it will slink away and its negative thought processes will disappear!

6.  Meditation

Meditation and sadhana (spiritual practise) is the short cut to healing the inner critic.  The ultimate focus of spiritual practise is to become immersed in the Living Organic Light, that which encompasses all and is not fragmented by the duality.  Spending time in meditation purifies and cleanses the mind of these negative ‘tracks’ and the higher vibrational energy that you access within yourSelf, purifes the neural pathways and nadi in the brain and the emotional and physical and energetic bodies.  As the system becomes purified, the inner negative ego loses its grip and influence and it becomes easier to consciously withstand the negative self.

And ultimately the goal is to awaken the Presence of the Holy Spirit, the Kundalini or Shakty within.  As She awakens and rises to meet Her Beloved, the work really gets done for you!


In resurrection on July 20, 2010 at 6:35 am

Resurrection, Regeneration and Re-birth

These are words and images desired by all and often pursued with great intent and focus. But, alas, this part of the journey implies a preceding destruction, dissolution and death – something which the human mind would rather deny or avoid at all costs.
Nothing can be created without destroying something else. Anyone who is consciously creating art, will know this principle well. Often one becomes paralyzed at the thought of breaking down that which seems to be serving you well and that which has proven a worthy vehicle, but you cannot build without breaking down. Even if it only means that where previously there was an empty space of land, and you now create a new building, you still have to destroy the empty land.
And this also holds true for the self. Leaving the old behind invites that you step into the unknown, into a new part of the adventure, without a map and without a clear detailed plan. This calls for great courage and action – both characteristics of the heart chakra. Action as in an inner attitude, a willingness to do things differently, a willingness to let go of who you think or believe you are. For instance, it is no use telling your partner or your family, that ‘you are not an emotionally demonstrative person’ when you know that he/she is yearning for some display of affection from you. It is about reaching out, taking the risk, becoming vulnerable, and doing that which your heart calls for. This can be something really small – look at it as a pebble on the surface of a lake – the smallest pebble creates many circles and ever-widening circles – the same as love in action.
The human resists change, but life is an ever-changing flow, with nothing permanent or ‘absolute’. Everything depends on your perspective, your beliefs and your paradigm. Many sages have set out to demonstrate this reality to seekers, but the power of the mind and its fear of change and the unknown is very strong and this is seated in the lower parts of the brain, known as the primitive or reptilian brain and the limbic brain (more about this in further blogs).
The answer lies in the higher functions of the brain – illumination and ‘enlightenment’ is a function of the higher brain and accessible to all human beings! The activation of higher neural pathways in the brain, is the goal of all energy healing, mystical traditions, practices and very importantly, the goal of meditation. Activate the higher pathways of the brain and you will be re-born into a new reality – one where it is possible to live with the tension of the opposites; where you will know, as the Shaman, that it is possible to live in your own reality, beyond the laws that govern the world created by the lower mind, artist and creator of your own life – albeit always as a part of the whole. Entering the domain of the artist/creator/shaman does not equate the status of ‘God’/Creator/AllThatIs. We are a spark of the Fire and we are both nothing and everything, mortal and immortal, of no consequence and of every consequence. This is part of the paradox that will become clear to you as you step into direct encounters with the ‘mystical’ world. (I place many of these words in apostrophes as they are all words laden with belief and conditioning. The way in which I use them will only become clear to you if you continue to read my words and gain a deeper understanding of the meaning that I am trying to convey to you).
By activating the higher pathways of the brain, the old recording and habitual (mostly negative) thinking is erased. The gates are opened to a peaceful existence without fear and anxiety rooted in the cellular memory and generated by the primitive and limbic parts of the brain. The entire energy structure of the human being is transformed. The luminous body grows and expands and the higher chakras become active. A large and powerful energy field is created, radiating compassion and tolerance and others are attracted to this Love.
A new way of understanding and thinking will become natural and this is available to everyone as part of their evolution into a ‘spiritual divine’ being. But in order to activate these higher centres, you have to do the work and above all, you have to allow the changes to take place. You have to die to the old, spend time in the cave of death and the Underworld, going through the pain of loss, and face the fear of death, before you can be resurrected into a new you. This is a physical and real initiation. Undergoing energetic and mystical initiations cannot replace the physical initiation. They can prepare your mind and test your willingness, but ultimately, you have to walk the talk and you will be given the opportunity to be tested. You will undergo this initiation many times until you finally face the final initiation, that of mortal and physical death. Should you pass these initiations, and grow ‘wings’ as you return from each one, it is said that you will retain knowledge of your personal essence and you will not be re-absorbed into the river of unconsciousness after the final death of the body.
Often one starts with a spiritual practice and changes (as promised) will arrive on your doorstep. However, because these do not fit in with your paradigm and your ideas of who you are and where you are going, you ignore these messengers. The spiritual traditions are all vulnerable to distortion to suit your own, or your spiritual leader’s needs and agenda. Everything that looks like gold, is not always gold. The shadow is a powerful adversary and a wonderful instrument in service of the fearful self. When the self fears change and the unknown, it will employ the shadow self as a servant in the game of keeping you in the dark. We have many tools to our disposal, such as rationalisation, justification, postponement, sloth (the lack of courageous action, the lack of integrity), and others. The shadow is a master of distortion and will use well-known spiritual terminology and concepts to hold you prisoner. When fear is present, love is absent.

That then, is the test. Am I in fear or am I in Love? There is no other choice. If you are not in love, then set about discovering why you are in fear. Ask the questions and live the questions. Be patient. Eventually you will live the answers.
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