Hettienne Ma

Freedom through Love

Surrrendering to God (the Unknown and Unknowable) requires an unwavering faith and trust in the Absolute Goodness of God.

Surrender is the key to unveiling the Truth of Oneness, so why would the mind not allow you to surrender instantly? The obvious answer is ‘fear’, but then, fear of what? Fear of God. The fear of God is implicit in the creation of a seemingly separate human mind – one that has its own personal perceptions based on personal experience. Therefore a very valid point of view, seen from the mind’s perspective, to not willingly surrender to that which is Unknown and Unknowable – would you not agree?

The mind cannot know God and that is where the problem lies. As long as you rely on your mind and its perceptions based on its own limited belief systems, you will not even be able to contemplate the nature of God. The direct experience of God will give you the taste of what you are seeking – it will satisfy the yearning of your heart and the longing of your soul. You will not be able to explain God in words or concepts and this is because God is not an idea! God IS. God IS at all times, whether you are consciously aware of this or not. God IS.

And the paradox is that the more you empty your mind, in order to step into the IS, the more you will get to know your mind and the less attached you will become to its content and belief systems.

How do you empty your mind and start this journey on a daily basis? There are various forms of meditation, but it is not necessary to move into an ashram, or to withdraw from life and to acquire vast meditation skills. In fact, when you do any of the above, you are creating another belief system and really, to know God, you have to step into a life ‘beyond belief’. You have to let go of all belief systems, so be conscious of which new belief systems you are creating.

It can be as simple as becoming aware of each and every moment. Take fifteen minutes in the morning and fifteen minutes at night (before sleep) and sit with your breath. In this time, focus on the in and out breath. No pranayama, no manipulation of the breath, just a rythmic breath. As you breath in and out, be present and be aware, be willing to BE WITH the breath, and to be with yourself and thus to be with God. Yes, to be with God! as you, without judgement, without the need to improve yourself, without goals, without striving, just BE. It is said that God is closer than your own breath. In the Hindu tradition, the God Shiva (Siva) is an anagram of Vasi (breath) – surely you can see that there is a message here. God is not a separate entity ‘out there’; neither is God a being, limited to duality and good and bad. God IS. And only you can know God, by knowing yourself.

As you become conscious of the moment, you will become conscious of certain thoughts and feelings. Do not fight these. Do not engage these. These are all part of the ‘story’; the story that you wrote and continue to write about yourself. Let them arise to the surface of the mind like bubbles and let them be. ‘This too shall pass’. It may take a while to trust the process, but eventually the clouds will start to clear. You may not have any immediate insights, but you will notice new feelings, a new sense of lightness, a more positive outlook, and so on.

The truth is that you are not separate from God. God is both within and without. God is everything. Even by using the word God I am projecting a series of beliefs and adjectives in your mind, but to communicate, we need words. You can replace the word ‘god’ with Love, or Peace, or Christ, or Goddess, or Light. Most of these have already been claimed by spiritual and religious traditions, so once again, you are limiting your knowledge of the Divine. So there is only one way, and that is to go beyond – to go beyond the mind.

In The Cloud of Unknowing, a work by an unknown Christian monk, he says that the mind creates the Cloud of Unknowing, which obscures the knowledge of God and in order to clear this cloud, you have to put everything else into the Cloud of Forgetting.

This is a wonderfully simple analogy for exactly how I am with and know the Self.

The mind likes to and wants to understand and interpret, in order to organise, structure and mainly to control. The mind believes that when things are not going according to its plans and goals and expectations, that it is doing something wrong. You, as servant to the mind, then start to ‘do’ in order to bring seeming order back to the chaos. But chaos is needed to create, so unless, you can allow the chaos, you can not live a creative life, and your inner world will become a wasteland. You will feel trapped by external routines and seemingly limited choices. As long you try to interpret and understand, you are analysing and ‘filing’ and adding to the ‘story’. You always have a choice whether you look at a glass as half-full or half empty. You have the same power when it comes to writing your story. You can have exactly the same childhood as someone else, but based on your perception, your personality, your expectations, you will write a different story about your life and more importantly, about yourself, than someone else. But eventually, you only become a character in this story, and you are written by the story line that you set in motion a long time ago. Your choices become limited, your reactions become predictable and the people that you attract in your life, are all seemingly the same character, just in different dress-up every time. These characters are usually the Big Bad Wolf, or the Evil Stepmother or the jealous Ugly Stepsister or the Fisher King and so on.

So, how to change the story? How to undo the storyboard and how to step off the page? Through surrender.

Surrender does not mean that you just ‘give up’ and become downtrodden and despondent and despaired – well, sometimes it does. But not for this exercise.

To understand the meaning of surrender in this context, please visualise a triangle. See the one leg of the triangle in the ‘negative’ and the other leg of the triangle in the ‘positive’ and then see the apex of the triangle in the centre, high above it all. The apex of the triangle I like to call ‘High Thinking’ (the Absolute, Union, Unity Consciousness, at-one with God). All three points of the triangle is ‘true’ for you, the human being. You are standing with two legs in duality and your Soul is in God. If you keep your head in God as well, whilst going about your daily life, in full acceptance of everything as IS, you are living in surrender. And then you are holding the golden key to Self-Realisation.

Remember, life is energy before it is matter. So make sure that whatever you are giving energy to, really matters.

Thoughts and emotions are prayers, sent without end, setting your intent and ‘want’ to your Higher Self.

So, place your story and all its characters, into the cloud of forgetfullness. Leave it behind. Let it go. Over and over. Put down that heavy suitcase, throw out the baggage, and walk away, mentally and emotionally and step into Freedom. All of this is possible through Love.

This will mean that you suspend all judgement. When something happens to you, you step into the witness, into the apex of the triangle and you observe yourself. You observe your reactions, the feelings of pain and hurt, or anger and explosiveness. You do not have to fight or resist these feelings. You accept them. It is our resistance to our feelings that cause the suffering. Suffering is on-going pain and repression. When you allow yourself to feel the pain, the be at the centre of the feelings, without resistance and without fear, they will dissolve. Like mist in front of the Sun! You will most probably not be able to stay in the witness in the beginning, but you can go back to your High Throne in the Sun. When you become aware that you are fully engaged in flurry and intensity of the feelings, then you can return to the apex of the triangle, without judgement of self. When you release all judgement of the self that is still in the thick of the duality, compassion will enter its space.

The first time true acceptance and compassion floods your heart and being, it washes your mind of the fog and a sweetness, such as only known in love at first sight, enters your being. This absolute sweetness is Love, God, and ultimately your True Self. Once you have known this sweetness, this incredibly tender, absolute Love, you will want more and more. And your subconscious will find the way to deliver more to you!

Remember, through surrender, you are activating the principle of Love. The Principle of Love, is God, the Soul, Christ Consciousness, Guru (disspeller of darkness). The Principle of Love is intelligent and its goal and ultimate destiny is your Self-Realisation! It wants you to wake up from the nightmare and to participate fully in this Experience. Once Love has been activated, It will take control as much as you can allow. It will become your Guru, your Guru, your Lover, your Beloved and your divine Parent and It will bring you exactly what you need at all times.

So do not put off surrender. Take the risk. It is said that when you jump off the cliff, thousands of angels will be there to provide wings for your flight. Step into Freedom, over and over, and eventually you will remember and it will be a constant state of Love!

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